Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
