Where did you get a picture of my penis
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I've blown a few things in my day
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
