So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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