I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Randomize
