i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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