3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
