I molested 6 butterflies tonight
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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