Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Drake has all the answers
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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