Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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