If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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