She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
