this just has baby written all over it
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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