If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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