just tell him i said nine months
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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