she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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