even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
