Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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