He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I think I am morally bankrupt
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
