which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
