I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Having a random hookup so left but love u
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Alive.
So much puke
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Randomize
