can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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