Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
