how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
