Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
