Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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