I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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