Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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