Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Randomize
