Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I deserve to be covered in dicks
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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