LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
