the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
