Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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