Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Of course I have a pirate flag
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize