Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
