just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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