My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
