I must be too annoying 4 u.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize