I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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