We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
