2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
