Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
