This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
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