My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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