Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
