3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
