Sorry, I don't speak sober.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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