So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
