craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize