she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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