dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize
