Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
