I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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