so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
