i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
