Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
