Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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