i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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