she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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