Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
