You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
