I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
