we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
they need to just BURY HIM!
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
