This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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