She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
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